No Longer Surviving

In just a little over 3 short months, I get to move into our forever home with my sweet little family. The place where we will raise our two beautiful children, where we ourselves will grow, waits for us on the other side of a fraction of time.

Growing up I developed a lot of questions around the idea of "a home".

I moved a great deal. By the time I was 18 I had lived in 15 different houses.

These moves were in between brief stints in hotels and pit stops to family members houses. This instability shot out roots in me that I'm still in therapy for today.

But God...

having been grafted into His family of eternal Hope, fueled me with the belief that one day I would have a family to call my own and my children would not have to suffer because of my past. I would do the work to live by faith and walk in healing. Some days this looks like humility to admit how much I'm struggling, other days it looks like realizing a need to celebrate little victories. All the days it looks like replaying "I'm not giving up". It's messy, it's hard... But God.

The Invitation

There's an invitation to show up in a way that honors belief in myself and what God has spoken. The enemy would love for me to entertain the skits he has prepared for my imagination and instill intimidation and despair in me but I get to choose a different narrative.

One where my kids grow up strong, rooted in beauty, steeped in community, brimming with opportunity, their eyes shining with wonder and hope, their hearts full of the knowledge of how they are cherished. Sometimes this innate desire to create security in them looks like a see saw in me with complete safety on one side and letting go on the other, but I'm learning to be okay with the tension. It's a journey for us all.

One thing is for sure, God has redeemed this story and He continues to do so.

"I pray with great faith for you, because I'm fully convinced that the One who began this gracious work in you will faithfully continue the process of maturing you until the unveiling of our Lord Jesus Christ!" Philippians 1:6